Dear Lord,
Whoa... what a day today my Lord... I get new classes now... only 14 students... but more than half of them are special needs... are you kidding me my Lord... apalagi Tuhan... Tuhan mau kasih apalagi... saya siap menerimanya... berikan penderitaan yang banyak Tuhan.... lebih banyak lagi... dan lagi... aku mau lihat tampang si iblis yang ternganga melihat aku sanggup menjalaninya... hahaha.... Jika aku di dalam-Mu dan Engkau di dalam ku... manalah aku takut akan dunia ini dan segala pencobaannya.... Pencobaan pasti ada, masalah datang silih berganti... semakin berat cobaannya.... semakin dekat aku padaMu TUHAN... lalu aku sekarang beristirahat... melihat sabdaSpace dengan tampilan barunya... sepertinya terlalu lebar ke kiri ya Tuhan... atau komputerku yang layarnya kekecilan... ah... tak tahulah.... hahaha.... tapi begini sepertinya lebih baik... TUHAN aku punya masalah... anak-anakku kurang punya motivasi Bapa... KAU tahu ayah ibunya bekerja dari pagi sampai malam... terkadang mereka bilang Mama-Papa baru pulang jam sebelas malam dari kantor.... wow... what kind of family is that.... but they are rich my Lord.... they can buy anything thy want.... they can eat anything they would like to eat.... they can go anywhere they want.... Disneyland Tokyo, keliling Eropa.... boro-boro keliling Eropa TUHAN... ke Bali saja aku belum pernah... hahaha.... but they are pure my Lord... except 1 person... why do You put Judas in my class??? I know he always bullying his friends, doesnt have any empathy, his parents are difficult.... always blaming the teachers.... for every mistake that he did.... poor us as teachers... but I try to be patient my Lord... as patient as the sun.... although I cry n wipe every night... with my neighbor partners who always seek fortune on her class and leave my class behind... hahaha.... she doesn't know that i have You Jesus.... I feed her ego.... I always help her with the math worksheet... although she always keep our science worksheet.... gosh.... I think I just meet someone like this Lord.... so selfish, mau menang sendiri, ingin dianggap penting, sok senior, selalu menganggap dirinya paling benar.... You know her lah my Lord.... What should I do.... I know I have to love her.... like You love her.... many times i just silent and be as professional as i can but... well ok.... it is my cross.... thank You for that Lord... I will just focus on my students... hahaha... i just dont want the evil thinks that he wins by dropping my feeling.... ease your mind myself.... we have LORD GOD ALMIGHTY... bigger than the problems... Now... i try to find as many informations about "Special Needs" , baru-baru ini aku sudah membeli buku tentang autisme TUHAN... what a nice book... I'm thinking about my friends to... she said she moved to school in Tebet... but since the last meeting i lost contact with her... i hope you are fine vrs... GOD be with you.... At church... you want to hear my story at Church my Lord... so all the senior sunday school teachers wants to judge me... because they were unsatisfied with the place that Panitia choosed for Retret... actually they were not pointing at me... but to Ola and Dora as my secretary and event organizer... they wanted me to conduct Evaluation Meeting as soon as possible.... but... hey... Evalution Meeting can become Judging Day and Blaming Day... so... I avoid it... is it we have to love one another? Is it LOVE still being used at Church my Lord? Why they can not love or at least try to understand their enemy? Why they can not realize why people do what they did... I also heard about two mountains wants to erupt... Gunung Papandayan and Gunung Semeru...dear GOD ... have patience on us.... they already live in poor and sadness.... makan saja sudah susah Tuhan... bagaimana kalau ada gunung meletus... berapa ribu jiwa harus mengungsi.... tapi... jika itu rencana-Mu... terjadilah yang sesuai dengan rencana-Mu... rencana-Mu bukan rencana kami, rancangan-Mu bukan rancangan kami... TUHAN kuatkanlah aku selalu dalam menjalani hidup... kuatkan para pembaca dan kami semua di tempat ini. AMIN.
BIG GBU!
JM.
JKT 0708'07.1900