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Relationships - Jeffrey Rachmat

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Relationship is the network of life. Who we hang out with will determine who we are. How successful we are is determined by the circle of our friends. We are not able to move forward and achieve greater things in lives, without the help of wise friends. Vice versa, we are surely sinking in lives, whenever we hang out with destructive people.

There are lots of people who do not realize that they are endangering their lives because they hang out with losers, irresponsible people, and other types of communities who are destructive and compulsive.

In order to achieve the greater things in lives, we have to watch carefully who we walk, stand, and sit with. It does at the end make the difference whether we are going to succeed or fail in our lives. Whether we are going to achieve the dreams, or blow it away. Whether we are going to conquer, or be defeated.

Let’s study the example. There’s a man who has no knowledge about music. This man has nothing. He has no interest. Luckily, he meets bunch of people who are passionate about music. These guys could not stop talking about music. The next thing the man knows, he begins to absorb knowledge and adjust himself. He begins to learn about music. He might not be able to play an instrument. Yet, he gets the idea about music. He begins to understand series of great musicians. Why? Because the friends just could not stop talking about it.

Now, let’s see another example. Have you guys heard some people saying, "I’m not gonna end up like those people. I know myself better. I might hang out with them, but I’m not ending like those guys. Never. I know where I stand." Just give him some time. Take a look at the case in point. If you get 8 people circling around you and let them hold hands with each other tightly (so you can’t get out of the circle). Now tell the 8 man to walk across the room with you still in the middle of the circle. Your task is to stand still and be eager not to move a single inch. Can you stand still? It is more likely that you’ll be dragged by the 8 guys around you and be moved to the other side of the room. Even, when you have no intention to be moved. Then again, you’re dragged. You have no power against the 8 people since you are stucked in the middle.

Let’s say the 8 people circling you are wise guys who are walking with God. You can’t stand still and not grow. You are by all force pushed to grow, to expand your limit, to move to the next stage, even when you do not want to. You can’t expect to stay the same, because your friends are dragging you to the next level. Then again, what if the 8 people are the wicked ones whose habits are destructive behaviors, whose thoughts are deceitful, whose likeness are lawless things, what will happen to you? Though you have no intention to be like them, you’re forcefully dragged to change and adjust to their attitudes. You’re forcefully dragged to sink and fail in lives.

Now, do you see how significant the impacts of circle of friends? Every one needs some one else to take him/her to achieve greater things.

The bible in John 5:1-18 talks about the crippled man who had been sick for 38 years and when Jesus came up to him, and asked "Do you want to be well?" The sick man answered, "Sir, there is no one to help me get into the pool when the water starts moving. While I am coming to the water, someone else always gets in before me." Watch carefully what’s the man saying, "No one to help me." He wasn’t saying that he could not be healed. If he had just been able to get into the pool by the time the angel of God stirred up the water, he would’ve been healed. The problem was not that he did not have much faith. The problem was: he had no one to get him into the water in time.

Now look up another story the bible told us. Luke 5:17-20 tells us about the paralyzed man who were carried by his friends to where Jesus was teaching. As the massive crowd blocked their ways, the friends went up on the roof and lowered the man on his mat through the ceiling into the middle of the crowd right before Jesus. Seeing their faith, Jesus said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven." The story told us that by the friends’ faith, the paralyzed man was forgiven and healed. In other word, if it’s not because of his friends, the paralyzed man will never be able to survive. The paralyzed man will never achieve healing.

Both stories teach us that friends have impacts in our lives. It is impossible to achieve things without the help of other men.

The next question is: how can we maintain a great circle of friends?

We decide: who can be close to us and who can’t be with us.

We have to keep the great friends who can help us grow and at the same time keep distance with the destructive ones.

When we’re already surrounded by great friends, it is important to keep them close. How?

  • We must be somebody that can bring our friends to achieve greater things.
  • Keep away from jealousy and wicked hearts.
  • Guide your heart, and let your mouth speak words of encouragement and wisdom.

It takes only a second, a deed, or a word to destroy a friendship. Be eager to maintain good friendship. We have the control to let people come close to us or to keep away from our sights.

A healthy relationship is the one that gets you to the higher level in lives; you know that without it, you’re unable to achieve the greater things.

Do remember several notes below:

  • There are times when God fulfill our desires because of those standing around us. Similar to the story of the paralyzed man and his faithful friends, your prayer might be answered because of your friends’ faith. And vice versa.
  • In order to fulfill your destiny, learn to differentiate those coming close to you. Not every single person popping at your door should become your friend. Every relationship starts with an introduction (and introduction always runs smooth, good things come up in the introduction stage). Keep in mind, only several people can get into the intimate part.
  • Every sin develops in a relationship results in death.
  • The closest people have greater potential to hurt us.
  • There are people that God send to help us grow, but they might not exist forever to support us.
  • The relationships around us will change according to the purposes we would like to accomplish.
  • Do not abuse the help and trust given to us. If we are helped by others, expect to stand on our own, after a length of time.

    That’s it. Hope you’re able to build healthy relationships to achieve amazing things.

  • Sumber: www.jpcc.org - Pastor Jeffrey Rachmat

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